I Have To Tell You
by rage913
Summary: I have to tell you...I cant live with this anymore. You mean to much for that, and now I may not be able to tell you....how can you keep running away from this...I just dont understand
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys...well this is my first ever try at writing fic...so I hope you all like it out there. To be honest im a bit freaked out, I really do hope that you guys like the story...thanx so much

Jess...you know that this is for you hun...thanx for all the pushing and fighting for me to finally get to post this...Love ya lots...

Well thats all folks, R&R please...tell me what you think!

THANX

I Have to Tell You

By: Rage

My Amazing Beta: Rodare

Chapter: 1

I have to tell you! I need to tell you before you leave me. I can't take this anymore, you'll be gone for Merlin knows how long and I can't let you leave without at least knowing how I feel about you…

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Earlier that day…

Hermione appaparated back into her flat, well the "Trio's" flat muttering dark implications under her breath. To say that Hermione was in a bad mood was an understatement; she just got into another row with her boyfriend…well ex-boyfriend now. Things were not going the way she planned, the day started out horrendous for her. First she was nearly late to the Ministry meeting causing her boss to go off on her about being late on the one most important day of her career even though she was five minutes early. Then she got into an amazing row with her now ex-boyfriend Oliver Wood, one that rivaled those she had with Ron back in the day. Now on top of that she still hadn't come up with a way to tell Ron and Harry that she would be moving to America because of the Ministry. And at this point in time she really didn't care much about it.

She walked into the kitchen and over to the cabinets grabbing a cup. She unintentionally slammed the cabinet closed and walked over to the water faucet. She needed to take something; she had this splitting headache that was driving her mad.

"Oh…. well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" Ron muttered as he walked out from the den in their flat.

"Sod off, Ron…I am not in the damn mood," Hermione hissed back. That headache of hers was getting worse by the second. She felt as if her head was going to explode.

Ron merely stared flatly back at her. Just as Harry was about to walk in, he heard the tone of Hermione's voice a mile away and stopped right by the stairs intent on listening.

"God, I don't know why I put up with you two! You both are so bloody immature for your own damn age!" Hermione yelled. Merlin could her day get any worse.

"Well, sorry for not being 'the all smart and funny Oliver Wood'!" Ron yelled back in her face, his ears turning a steady shade of red. "Merlin knows we're not amazing!"

"Fuck you, Ron! Oliver and I are done," Hermione yelled right back. She was trying to fight the tears that were starting to come forth. She didn't want to leave like this yelling and screaming at her best friend but she couldn't help it, the emotions were coming out like a waterfall. "We're over as of this morning!"

It was then that Harry finally decided to make his presence known by opening and closing the door loudly, shouting he was home. He walked slowly towards the kitchen wondering what to say.

"Hermione, calm down," Harry said almost soothingly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing! Nothing's the matter with me, Harry!" Hermione yelled at Harry's face. "I'm on the verge of tears and nothing's wrong!"

"Hermione, we care about you," Harry said quietly back. "Don't do this. Let's just sit and talk about this."

"Care! You care about me?! Harry you only care about me when you need me! I'm just the one that saves both your asses from all your fuckups! That's all I'm good for, all I'm worth," Hermione screamed with tears now cascading down her beautiful face.

"Mione, that's not true! We…I lo…" Harry stuttered trying to find words to calm her down. For some reason an odd feeling came over him, an odd sensation that he couldn't place his finger on.

"You what? You what, Harry…? Jesus, why am I still here?" She screamed toward the ceiling. Why did it have to happen like this? Hermione thought absently…well fuck it let them deal with it.

"I'm… I'm moving! I'm moving out to the Americas…for how long I don't know but I got a position as a head of branch over at their Ministry and I've decided to take up their offer," Hermione said, starting out in a shout but finishing in almost a whisper.

Ron looked like someone had just dumped ice-cold water on him, while Harry looked like he just got hit in the head with a Bludger.

What?! She's moving to the Americas? Why didn't she tell us? Hell, why didn't she tell me?! Harry thought, his mind running a mile a minute trying to process all that occurred in the past ten minutes.

Hermione didn't glance towards them, not once, before she Apparated up to her room and began casting charms all over the place. She packed her clothes in her trunk, along with her shoes and robes. When she was finally done, she shrunk down the trunk and fitted it into her robes pocket. She turned to leave out of her now more or less barren room when she noticed that she had a picture of the trio sitting on her desk.

She walked over to it, slowly remembering all the things that had passed in these past years. From their first encounter with Voldemort, to the final battle that had nearly cost them everything, she remembered everything.

Ron was to Hermione's left with his arm around her waist while Harry stood to her right with his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him. All three of them, had a huge smile on their faces as they had finished their N.E.W.T.S. Collin Creevey had taken that picture, and it had turned out quite nicely. But with a sad smile, she turned the picture face down on the desk. That's in the past, she thought absently.

Hermione apparated back downstairs and found out that Harry and Ron were still rooted to their spots. She looked between the two of them and simply stated that she was leaving.

"If you need to get in touch with me, just call the Ministry. They will tap you into my field where I'll see if I can receive your call."

She turned to Ron looking at his slightly absent look, "Good bye, Ron."

She turned to Harry looking into his deep green eyes. They were clouded over with deep thought. She simply stood on her toes and placed a small gentle kiss on his cheek, almost as if a ghost had kissed him.

"Goodbye, Harry."

With that she turned and walked out of the front door. Harry's hand came up to touch the spot were Hermione had kissed him, and felt the warmth that she had left there, when all of a sudden it him. He ran to the door and opened it…only to find that it was empty.

Hermione…

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Back to the Present

Harry was sprinting down Diagon Alley, dodging and weaving in between people of all ages. Damnit! Where is the station? He finally found it, off to the corner of Gringotts. He hoped to Merlin and God that he wasn't too late. Running inside it seemed like a mad house. Everybody was going everywhere, it seemed like udder chaos. He finally noticed the entrance into the terminals. He ran over to it completely skipping the line and ran up to one of the tellers.

"Ticket, please," the man asked in a monotone voice. He seemed to not care as he was reading a magazine.

"I don't have a ticket," Harry answered back with desperation in his voice. "Listen my friend is getting a portkey and I need to tell her something important."

"No ticket no entrance," the man replied in that same monotone voice. "Next!"

A bristled witch came up and looked at Harry _contemptuously. Harry simply looked down at her silently telling her that he wasn't going to budge unless he got inside. _

_"Listen…" Harry squinted down to the man's name plate it read…Christopher "Listen Chris, my best friend is ge…"_

_Chris simply cut Harry off with the wave of his hand, "No ticket no entrance." _

_Harry was wasting valuable time. He needed to get out of there… "Listen, I'm Harry Bloody Potter, now I need to get in there now!" _

Chris seemed to have taken this as a joke and started to chuckle. "Right, you're Harry Potter," Chris answered with obvious mirth in his tone, "and I am He-Who-Must-Not-Be..." Finally looking up to the person that was starting to become annoying, he noticed that it was indeed Harry Potter. He glanced down to his magazine then back up to Harry.

"Bloody hell! It's Harry Potter!" Chris yelled.

Harry looked at Chris with a glare that would make even a seasoned Death Eater quiver,

"I need to get through now!" Harry answered again.

"Go on, Sir, go and find your friend," Chris answered after gulping.

Harry didn't even wait for him to finish before he started to sprint down the passage.

God! Which terminal is it! Harry's mind was reeling madly. He thought he was going to die if he didn't tell her. He noticed one of the boarding attendants answering questions. Harry ran to her, pretty much out of breath and asked, "Where, huff, can I, huff, find the, huff, Ministry portkeys," Harry managed.

"What was that?" the attendant asked politely.

"Where can I find the Ministry Portkeys?" Harry yelled, causing an old couple to jump and mumble about kids not planning correctly.

"Oh, well simply go down this passage and make a left…you'll see it there," the attendant answered in a hurry. And Harry was off again.

"Thanks!" he shouted over his shoulder sprinting down the corridor and making the left.

I have to tell you! I need to tell you before you leave me. I can't take this anymore, you'll be gone for Merlin knows how long and I can't let you leave without at least knowing how I feel about you.

He finally saw the Ministry officials starting to form up on the portkeys.

"Hermione!" he shouted hoping to the gods that he wasn't to late. He ran inside the gate looking for the portkey to the Americas, he finally noticed that there were only five or six people waiting in line for the portkey.

He shouted franticly over to the group, "Hermione!" and to his utter relief she hadn't left yet.

Hearing her name she turned her head quickly to the one that was calling her…oh no it's Harry. She had been dreading this since she first accepted the position knowing that either Harry or Ron or both would try and stop her.

"Harry," was all she could form when the attendant announced that they had only five minutes left.

They had been staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Green eyes staring back to chocolate ones. Each of them was trying to find out the truth in the other's eyes.

"Hermione…listen I lo…" Harry stammered. He figured that first he had to reach Hermione and then if he got there in time he would be able to tell her how he truly felt. But his rational self had told him he wouldn't find her in time.

The attendant glanced over to Hermione knowing what she was going through. She had asked if for what ever reason someone should try to stop her if they could please do her the favor and try and get her out of their as fast as possible. "Miss Granger, we need to be leaving now, I'm afraid you don't have anymore time."

Hermione nodded to the old gentleman and turned to Harry. "Harry, I need to go…I'll see you around." With that said she turned on her heel and started walking over to the pulsating hat that was used for the portkey.

Harry looked at her back feeling lost within him. He felt that pain again, the mind numbing pain of feeling alone and completely abandoned. First with his family, then Sirius and Dumbledore leaving him and now the one person that had stayed through hell with him was slowly walking away. He needed to tell her that he loved her…he couldn't let her leave without knowing…

"HERMIONE, I LOVE YOU!" Harry shouted out finally finding the courage in him to finally say it out loud…

But it was too late because with swoosh of wind and color, she was gone…

Leaving him standing alone.


	2. Chapter 2

You never know what you actually have till its gone…

You Never Know…

**By: Rage**

**My Amazing Beta: Rodare**

**Chapter: 2 **

You never know what you actually have until its gone…that feeling of emptiness, loneliness…it's suffocating.

Sure Harry had heard that saying many, many times but he never really took it to heart. He never knew his family, though they were taken from him. Then Sirius came into his life with things going well for two years until that faithful night at the Department of Mysteries. As the topper he had his mentor, a man that he respected highly, murdered in front of his eyes that night in his sixth year. Yes there had been pain, a tremendous amount of pain, but none of that compared to how he felt right know. His heart seemed to be shattering piece by piece and the only one that could mend it was four thousand miles away.

He finally found the courage to tell her…to tell her that he loved her, and she vanished in front of his eyes. _Damnit Hermione!! I love you woman!!_ Harry thought, as he slowly wondered his way back to their flat. He hadn't even realized were he was going, his mind just wondering back to all the times they had shared together. She had been gone for all of an hour, and it already felt like an eternity to him.He couldn't get her out of his thoughts. It was like a like a disease. He kept seeing her over and over every time he closed his eyes_. The way she would smile, the way she would laugh, the way her eyes would twinkle when she found something intriguing. _

Harry finally reached the front door to the flat, and opened it to find Ron and Luna in a conversation. Ron looked up at his best friend and brother in all the ways that counted.

"How you doing mate?"

Harry simply looked back at him, his eyes sullen; having lost their usual sparkle the shine that glinted his eyes looked dull.

"So you finally told her…huh?

"Ya, I did bro…and…and she left"

"I can tell mate, you look like shyte"

"God, I don't know what to do Ron!" Harry shouted, his frustration finally hitting its peak. "I love her Ron…and I can say it now, I just don't know why I couldn't before!" "I'm in bloody love with the bird Ron, and i'm scared shitless right know as to what to do". "I've always known what to do, either with my gut, or my head, but right know, this very moment I don't know what to do…and it's driving me insane! Every time I close my eyes I see her, she's happy, she's smiling, she's laughing, and…argghhhh." Harry having given up on his ranting decided to rake his fingers through his hair. He looked up slightly peeved when he noticed Luna sitting in the chair next to Ron.

"Oh, um…hello Luna how are you?" Harry asked stammering.

"I'm fine Harry, but you seem to be an a bit of a problem don't you?" Luna asked.

"Yes you could say that" Harry replied.

" So what are you going to do about it Harry, you told her you love her so now what" Luna asked with that odd ethereal look to her eyes.

" What do you mean now what…its not as if I can exactly chase after her!"

"Why not Harry. You just admitted that you love Hermione, yet your going to let her leave just like that?"

"Well I dunno?…I'm just so lost right now, I don't know what to do? Its not as if she wanted to stay, or was thinking clearly for that matter." Harry tried racking his brains for anything that could get Hermione to come back to England but it seems that she already had her mind made up.

"Bloody women" Ron mumbled under his breath

" Well yes, she had a lot on her mind, and I'm more than positive she just wanted to get away to think for a little, so she took the only resource she had, the portkey." Luna answered as a matter of factly. Looking back at Ron she gave him a look of retribution if he were to keep it up.

Ron noticed "the Look" immediately and quickly decided that it was in his best interest to leave well enough alone.

"Luna, I need your help, what should I do?" Harry asked. Merlin's beard the poor man was in love.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Meanwhile…

Sunlight was shining through the window casting a warm glow on the room. It was spacious with a King size bed, with a love seat set in the corner. A chest of drawers was set to the right of the door, while to the left held the master bathroom, and closet. To either side of the bed was a nightstand, with a picture of a couple. The couple seemed to be in love.

The girl who was resting in the arms of the man, had bushy brown hair, with chocolate eyes, she had an amazing smile that could melt even ice. She had her arms wrapped around the man's waist holding him close.

The man was about a foot taller, with chestnut hair. He had a smile on his face and seemed content. The man looked fit with a blue shirt and jeans on, along with his jumper…

The sunlight hit the little black box that was sitting on the nightstand. It was opened and held a carrot diamond on a gold band…the sun hit the diamond spilling lights across the room.

Oliver was staring at the ceiling…wondering how he could get back with Hermione…suddenly it hit him. He came up with the plan to surprise her by meeting her over in Americas for a nice romantic dinner, without having to deal with _pestering Harry! Oliver thought snidely…and that's when you will marry me and leave that good for nothing Potter…_


End file.
